A few days ago, a young woman named Naira Ashraf was stabbed to death in front of her university in Mansour, Egypt, by a young man who wanted to marry her, but she refused. The killer stabbed the victim several times in the chest, then dragged him to the sidewalk and stabbed him himself. Also in Jordan, a girl who refused to talk to her colleague received four bullets, three in the chest and one in the brain. The killer admitted that he made the young Egyptian role model because they both rejected him.

These crimes are not the first and may not be the last. Around the world, homicides occur because of men’s continued emotional or sexual rejection of men. Sometimes it does not equate to murder, but other violent crimes are committed against women, such as attempted mental and physical destruction, threatening to stalk the victim, rape or assault.

(Polygan – Mexico)

Recipients of this news sometimes underestimate the cause of the murder. They think it’s not worth it. Of course, this perspective stems from the heartbreak for the victims, as well as from the misunderstanding of the psychology of rejection, but it is a rejection of the role of social pressure that has helped create men full of toxic masculinity to assert. themselves and dominate. . .

The need for acceptance and love
The need for acceptance, love, and belonging to a group or person is natural. The problem begins when this need becomes a sense of right. When a young man proposes to a woman, he, before making his request, is excited and expects the happiness and pleasure that awaits him. When he is shocked by a rejection, he is overwhelmed with emotion, in pain, and feels angry and ashamed. However, some people feel the sting of rejection more than others, and they also have a great fear of being rejected by others. These people have a trait known as “rejection sensitivity.”
“We found that induced social harm is very similar to induced physical harm,” said Matthew Lieberman, professor of social psychology at Harvard University. Lieberman explained that the brain sees social isolation as harmful, so it responds to pain. Rejection sensitivity is not just “in the head”. Evidence suggests that feeling rejected in people with this trait leads to physiological changes. Brain research has shown that when people who are sensitive to rejection see a rejected facial expression, they show increased activity in parts of the brain that affect blood pressure, decision making, and emotions.

persecution and extortion
Often there are stages such as emotional blackmail and stalking before the decision to commit violence and murder. Research shows that the shame of rejection motivates reunification and persecution. These feelings stem from rejection and difficulty accepting rejection, especially in people whose self -esteem is strongly associated with romantic relationships. They will be even more sensitive to rejection, because their partner’s rejection makes them think it’s the end of the world and love is gone. Because it is unlikely, many people chase after their rejected partner, hoping to change their mind and have a sense of love and acceptance that will boost their self -esteem. In the case of Naira Ashraf, she was harassed many times by the killer so she wrote some protocol against her (not infringing copyright) to avoid prosecution against her. The killer didn’t translate the word “no” in all the ways Naira tried to express, but instead she saw that this whole denial was an insult to her character and personality.

dominance and control
In our societies, men are brought up by certain standards and are required to act according to those standards, the most important of which is dominance and control. These are the main characteristics of toxic masculinity. There are also guidelines that a man should continue to be good at maintaining his identity, such as sexual and romantic success with a woman. These principles, which put pressure on a man, reinforce the view of a woman as an object, a purpose, or simply a creature. According to sociologist Ravin Connell, masculinity is formed in society through a system of social interactions and practices. The dominant form of masculinity in a particular culture is called masculinity and it is the primary expression of “the collective privilege that men have over women, while hegemonic masculinity may not even be displayed by most men. in culture, claiming that it is still considered the normative way to be a person. ” Men who do not live by these standards are marginalized. ” Because hegemonic masculinity also fuels hatred of women as a means of repeatedly affirming male dominance, it creates a situation where men not only feel they deserve a woman, but respond. fairly in rejecting the sexual temptation of violence. Research shows that rejection worsens mood, causing people to seek to correct their negative emotional state through aggression. This violence calms a person’s feelings of anxiety and offends pride. The aggression of revenge is enjoyable because it brings about a change in mood and reduces the threat to the ego and sense of self. In this case, neuroscientists view rejection violence as an automatic response.
As for sociologists and criminologists, they argue that there is a gap between anger and violence, but poison masculinity permeates this space, and it does so through masculine notions of honor. Narcissistic law dictates that men feel that women owe them sexually and emotionally.
James W. Messerschmidt, professor of sociology and chair of criminology at Southern Maine University, where he also teaches the Women and Gender Studies program, that violence itself comes from the need to restore a person’s dignity, because romantic and sexual that rejection is considered an insult. Not surprisingly, men with a strong sense of dignity are more likely to respond violently to a threat to their social importance. However, it is interesting to note that often, people who use violence against women are more aware of the social punishment placed on their manhood through rejection, marginalization, and humiliation, but so are their peers if not they produce an emotional response. / having sex with a woman. Women’s rejection of male advances is seen as a real threat because it questions a man’s ability to fulfill his role as a man, or more importantly, his ability to possess and control, romantic/sexual rejection. is seen as an act of war against their manhood. . instead of insisting on Their striving for successful maturity.
Messerschmidt explains that this is a thought process instilled by toxic masculinity in many men from childhood: intercourse with women is a sign of hegemonic masculinity, and hegemonic masculinity is the ultimate victory.

Sources:

The Danger of Not: Violence Aversion, Toxic Masculinity and
Violence against women

Connell, Robert W. (2001). Understanding men: gender sociology and a new international study of masculinity.

Messerschmidt, JW (2017). Teenage boys exhibit heteromasculinity and sexual abuse. Journal of the Center for Educational Policy Research, 7 (2), 113–12.