In an experiment conducted by the British Harvard Business Review, all subjects were able to write a compliment to a friend, but only half of them actually gave a compliment when they had the chance. It comes at a time when 90% of them think they should praise more often, and then they succeed in their hardest task: finding a positive quality in another person who deserves praise.
According to the magazine, the main barrier between us and taking this step is our miscalculation of the consequences of our words of encouragement for the recipients and for ourselves.
Experiments conducted by the magazine showed that those who typically want to give praise are unaware of the level of positive impact their words have on the addressee, and are likely to believe that the latter may feel some sort of kindness. discomfort most of the time.
However, the researchers found that comparing the actual feelings of the recipients with the expectations of compliments that these senders typically “underestimate” the impact of their words on others and “magnify” their fear of embarrassment. to them, leading, according to the magazine, to refrain from this subtle step, which will enhance the mood of both parties throughout the day.
According to Forbes magazine, employers also often avoid praising employees, and instead send positive feedback through a general meeting or through thank you cards the company sends to the employee, or through others. more employees. For example, a manager may feel that he doesn’t need to hear positive feedback from anyone, so why would he give it to his employees?
However, Nihar Shahaya, executive coach at some of the most important big companies and Forbes writer, confirmed that there is indescribable satisfaction that a person feels when he knows that those around him at work value his efforts, especially in this extraordinary stage. In turn, some psychologists believe that positive words in the work environment affect an employee’s brain in the same way as receiving a financial reward, motivating him or her to continue to do his or her best at work.
Regarding the Business Know How website, he believes another reason that may have prevented more praise is the donor’s reluctance to come out on Donnie’s site compared to the recipient. One may think that the praise of others may diminish its value, while experience proves that the praise of others significantly improves our psychological state and increases our productivity and self -confidence at every opportunity.
The art of flattery
As we have already mentioned, compliments can, if we allow them, create a lot of positive energy. It also has a magic effect, which softens the atmosphere between any two people. However, behavioral site Psychology Today claims that giving compliments is an “art” in itself. Therefore, we must know its “source”, otherwise we may inadvertently spoil the moment.
Perhaps the most important rule in giving compliments is to be honest, that is, from the heart. According to the magazine, it is very easy for other people to see fake compliments, which are completely unproductive. Instead of being positive and appreciated, the recipient will feel a lack of trust in the giver and their motives, which will negatively affect the relationship rather than activate it.
According to the site, the compliment should be given at the right time so that it is not lightly but directly and clearly. Preferably a short sentence, clearly referring to the work being praised.
The recipient, in turn, must pay attention to certain points so as not to include the positive consequences of flattery. For example, your saying, according to the site, “These are old clothes, I have had for many years,” is not the best answer if someone tells you, “You have fancy clothes now.”
After all, such a response is enough to destroy the positive atmosphere and make your counterpart feel like a “fool” because they commented on a topic that should not be ignored. On the other hand, the most appropriate way to receive praise is to say “thank you” with a gentle smile.
And don’t worry, contrary to what you might expect, repeated praise doesn’t diminish their positive impact. It even manages to brighten the mood of the recipient, even if it is given every day. In other words, and as the Harvard Business Review experiment clarified, just as a person needs to eat regularly to meet their biological needs, it is also necessary for a person to feel that those around him or her are being noticed. , appreciates and recognizes his efforts. in their work and in all aspects of their lives and on an ongoing basis.
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